This week has been incredible. We had our first home visit for Foster Care, and most of my worries were put to rest. She was very impressed with our house and told us we were one of the most capable young couples she's ever known and is confident we will do well. It was very reassuring and we were able to ask her a lot of questions. I bought some things for my classroom at garage sales, we spent a lot of time at the pool, we are reading a TON about child abuse & proper ways to parent child with extreme trauma. We had several simple date nights of going on walks, grilling, swimming, going out for ice cream cones and just enjoying time together. So good to have energy and time to do SIMPLE, fun things together.
*On Sunday at church, I was writing in my journal -- I wrote that I was starting to be worried about being able to buy/find all of the things we need to get a room set up. We have decided to license for a 3-8 year old...and we don't know what gender/age/race we'll get. It's hard to prepare toys/clothes/bed/room for a 3 year old boy or an 8 year old girl. Kind of a large range. I feel confident that God has a specific child that is supposed to be in our home....but I get nervous preparing it all. It is amazing how the Lord is already providing things we need for the child through wonderful friends and family. It gives me confidence that He will provide the energy, etc. that we need as well!! :)
One thing that gives me MAJOR confidence about our ability to do Foster Care is working at the Center. My interactions and affection for these kids, helps me to see that in some ways Foster Care will be easy because it is EASY to love a kid who needs it so desperately. To be able to feed, clothe, talk to, LISTEN to, give experiences to a child who has so little and who has been treated so unfairly, will be incredible. I know it will be hard, but it is also very hard to see all of this and not act. I can't wait--
*I went back to volunteer this week and it was even better than last week. As I walked up to the building on Monday, kids were pouring out of their apartments and sprinting with HUGE smiles towards the center. I was greeted with smiles, hugs and stories of the weekend.
Yesterday we spent the day eating breakfast, making a fun craft-they were so cute and careful as they made the picture frame-constantly looking for affirmation from me, and then we got to go outside to pull veggies out of the community garden and ride bikes.
Most of the kiddos didn't know how to ride bikes, but it didn't stop them from trying. I spent the hour (in 100 degree weather!!) running with kids as I held the back of their seat. They were SO cute as they tried and cheered each other on. One of my girls who was in my class last year was starting to get it--so I told her I was going to let go. She confidently yelled "Ok, Mrs! DO IT!" And she went off. I was jumping up and down screaming her name--SO proud. UNTIL I realized that I didn't teach her how to pedal backwards to brake--I went chasing after her as she pulled into a big patch of grass. We both starting laughing uncontrollably. We had so much fun. I remember my dad teaching me how to ride a bike...having a bike all through my childhood. Although these kids don't have a bike and most don't have a dad to teach them....others are stepping up to teach them and they still get the great experience.
You have to realize that at this complex, the younger kids kind of wander around. When we are outside doing an activity, kids of all ages come out. Before it was time to go inside, one of the preschoolers came up to me and said very sadly, "Mrs...we ain't got no food at home. I'm SO hungry. We ain't got no food at my house." This is a family I've worked with a lot last year--his sister was in my class....but what do you say to that!? I thought for a second and hugged him before saying: "I'm so sorry--food is important and I bet your belly is hungry. Let's go inside and I'll get you some food." He ate every bit.
*We went back inside for lunch and the kids were ravenous as we gave them their food. On most kids' trays, every single crumb was gone. Although it's so good that they are fed by the center, it is so sad at how hungry they are. Nothing breaks my heart more than hungry kids.
At the pool last week, one of the 5th grade girls told me all about how much she's been reading this summer...that she already filled up the "summer reading log" from school. Because I student taught 5th grade, I have a lot of chapter books of that level. Yesterday after lunch, I let her choose one of the books. She eagerly chose and I told her once she's done reading it--if she can tell me about it (if she REALLY reads it) I'll let her keep it and come choose another. Today she told me that she's already on chapter 6. :)
After lunch, I hugged all of the kids and told them I'd see them tomorrow. One older kid said "You sure do love your students, huh?!" My response: "You know what? I love ALL of the students here. I really do." She smiled and gave me a big hug.
*Today was one of the best days I've had in a LONG time! The kids came pouring in this morning and ate their breakfast. We then got some games out--I taught 5 sweet kinder kids how to play Candyland. We played for a long time and laughed so much...they cheered for each other when something good happened. "I WON!! I'm with the candy KING...you guys can call me KING...come on-hurry up and get to the castle cuz you can hang out with me and the candy KING!!" :) The most hilarious part is that they were counting the cards they drew--"I have 13!!" "I have 13 too!" haha--not really the point...
*Then they wanted to play Yahtzee...I knew they couldn't play the real way, so I turned it into a math game--they rolled the dice and then had to count the dots on the dice and tell me how to write the number. Ex-23...A 2 and a 3. If they did it right, they got a yellow coin. They cherished those coins. "This game is SO fun--we're SO smart, huh Mrs!?"
Then we got to go mini-golfing and bowling. As the van pulled up the building, all of the kids stayed close to me. They had never done anything like it before and were a little scared. We had SO much fun as they went around mini-golfing. We started laughing as we realized the "green" was shaped like different letters-"That's a lower case, n!" "This one's a lower case r, huh Mrs!"
"I want to do this FOREVER!" I was cheering for them and suddenly I realized that they had started cheering on themselves and their ball--"Come on, girly--you can DO IT!! GET IN THAT HOLE!!" It was hilarious.
The golf course had little statues of animals. Frogs, fish, and one was an alligator. One of my girls' balls went down by the alligator and she immediately grabbed my arm in fear. Another one asked with HUGE eyes: "Is it DEAD?!" I finally convinced her it was fake. :)
*Then we went inside for bowling. I was in a lane with all of the future 1st graders. I taught each one how to do it and then we all sat down in a row on the floor as we cheered for each person. They had so much fun keeping track of whose turn it was, giving high fives, checking their score. They also took turns sitting on my lap. In school I hugged the kids a lot, but they never sat in my lap, etc. It's fun to show them a little more nurturing this summer. When it was my turn to bowl, my little posse was cheering. It really was one of the best hours of my summer. We were giggling, cuddling, and cheering for each other. So fun.
We took a bathroom break in the middle of our game, and when we came back out, one of the boys' pants were falling down. He asked me to help him button his pants and I noticed that his underwear were in shreds. All of the kids are pretty stinky and have tattered clothes...but it just hit me hard. This sweet boy (who is one of the ones who made me want to do Foster Care) has shoes that don't fit, without shoe strings, tattered clothes and even shredded underwear. So sad to see a kid you love so much have so little.
After lunch, on the way back to center, that same little boy saved me a seat in the van. He leaned on my shoulder as we drove back to the center. I put my arm around him and he scooted towards me. What I wouldn't give to be able to take him home and shower him with love and time together. He was considered one of the worst behavior kids at my school last year in Kinder and he has transformed this summer with just a small amount of time and love.
The driver of the van turned on the radio as we drove back. The kids sang along to popular songs--they knew every word. Then he turned it to the Christian station--KLove. All of the kids stopped singing and one 1st grader said: "Uh, Mr...this is WHITE people music. We don't know this." I looked out the window and started to laugh. Next time we need to listen to some LECRAE! :)
"Let's pack a suitcase for a place we have to BELIEVE to see."--Let's have hope that this world will change. Get packing--a future of hope is ahead!!
:)
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
I'm just SO glad you're here!
*I didn't think I would blog this summer, but because of the INCREDIBLE few weeks I've had, it's time to blog. The Lord has been so good to me this summer-I've had time to clean/organize/relax/do crafty stuff off of Pinterest/visit family/work on stuff for school/hang with friends/spend SO much QT with my husband and read a lot.
*My husband is working at a child abuse & neglect clinic this summer. It has been so hard to watch him process & deal with the terrible things he is seeing. But I am also so proud of the man I married. Last week as I was writing in my prayer journal, I teared up thinking back to college when I spouted out what I was going to do with my life and how I was going to change the world. I wanted to teach in an innercity school and help families. Looking back, I had NO idea what my life would look like today. My life is SO full because the Lord has called us to give it away. I had an amazing year with my students, got very involved with families, my husband has volunteered at a free clinic, jumped on board with my students and now is giving his summer away to children who are abused & neglected in our city. I am so blessed to have him as my best friend.
*We started our Foster Care classes. We go back and forth between absolute terror and feeling like we GOT this. I made a bunch of stuff off of Pinterest and we have started to set up the potential child's bedroom. I borrowed a bunch of toys from my parents and will pull some books from my classroom. I used a gift card I received through working out a lot to buy curtains and a rug. It just might happen.
But we've also been reading books: "The Boy Called It" (made me almost throw up as I read the TERRIBLE abuse), "The Lost Boy", "Please Somebody Love Me" and now I'm reading "Building the Bonds of Attachment". The books have opened my eyes to the reality of how hard this might be. But I'm also encouraged that people are stepping up and speaking out for these children. It makes me wonder if I missed signs of abuse/neglect in my classroom....if I could have done more.
*In my husband's clinic and in the books, school is spoken of as a safe haven--where you get food, safety, love, education, friends, etc. They said the summer is a "down time" for the clinic because teachers are not reporting abuse--even though it is STILL happening. It makes me very thankful for the job I have, but also scared for kids this summer. What are they doing? Are they eating? Are they safe? Are they practicing ANYTHING we learned this year?. I can be an advocate for kids who have no voice. I feel so blessed that God trusts me with those kids.
*There are many reasons we want to do foster care, but the main reasons are the SWEET, neglected kids I met all year. I would come home from school with the most terrible stories and didn't know how to process. All I knew, is that if these kids had a mother figure who loved them-didn't hit them-fed them and interacted with them appropriately...they would THRIVE. I went through my year feeling like that, but then one day there were 4 situations with 4 different kids who affirmed for my husband AND I that we had to become foster parents. ALL of those 4 kids are in my group at the center I'm volunteering at. Lord's will???
*Now to the best part of my blog. :) I am volunteering this summer at a VERY poor apartment complex's summer program. It is only 2 mornings a week, but I was assigned all of the kids who just finished Kindergarten (MY kids!! and others that I love). Needless to say I was VERY anxious to check on my kids-to hug them/give them food!! As the kids started trickling in the room, I realized that EVERY kid was from my school. Every kid of every age came up and gave me a hug. They were so suprised to see me. I asked about their summers and hugged them each tight.
Then my kids started coming. One of the boys' jaw dropped and screamed, "MRS!!!!", another came running through the door and gave me a huge hug. She didn't leave my side for the rest of the morning. While the leader of the center was talking, all of my babies were huddled around me. They wanted to touch or be near. They kept looking over and smiling at me. One leaned in and whispered, "Mrs...I'm just SO glad you're here!!" I told her that I was so thankful to be there, too! We were all smiles as we read books, worked in the garden and learned about biking. We did some exercises and the leader challenged the kids to see who could do "plank" the longest. (VERY hard challenge). None of the kids were doing it right except one. This tiny little friend--he was in another class, but is a MESS and I always wished he was my student. This summer makes up for my lost time with him. Anyway, he was holding the plank position for almost a minute--I was cheering him on, and he whispered: This is SO hard. :)
*There was some down time, so I got out a book and read it to my sweet kids. Then I asked if they knew any songs they wanted to sing. We sang one they learned in music class and then one of my kids started singing: "I like it when you call me big poppy!"....UM!? Couldn't believe she knew that song...I told her I didn't think we should sing that. She said...Ok, Mrs!
*I spent the morning hugging my students' moms and catching up on everything. It was so good to see everyone!
*We went through lunch and I saw kids eating more than most adults could-they were SO hungry. As I looked around the room, their clothes were tattered, they were scarfing down food--but they had a GREAT morning with people who really care about them.
*We were outside later and other kids from the apartments were around. Then I saw a little girl SPRINTING across the grass-no shoes, a toothless (huge) smile and jumped into my arms. It was another one of my sweet students. Her mom followed her and said that when she heard I was outside, she leapt off the couch and the mom couldn't stop her before she was out the door and sprinting down the stairs. I told her mom that I was JUST as excited to see her!!!
It was a GREAT day. Before I left, they made me promise I'd be back tomorrow.
And then I went back this morning. Today we got to take the kids swimming. 9 years ago, I had my first summer job as a lifeguard. I worked at a very low income pool and taught swim lessons for free on my breaks. It was the first time I realized that I wanted to be a teacher. I saw these kids--who had no parents around, no money, but PURE joy to learn. I saw kids who were terrified of the water, a few weeks later swimming around the pool.
Today I got to relive that joy. NONE of the kids we took knew how to swim. I spent 3 hours teaching kids how to blow bubbles, kick on the side, to float, and eventually I would hold their bellies as they would kid and paddle around the pool. It was SO fun. Later, I was playing basketball with some older kids and I asked one of the little ones if he wanted to play. He looked at me VERY seriously as he walked around the pool and used his arms to paddle, "No, Mrs! I need to practice my swimmin!" Another little one was SO proud of himself for learning to blow bubbles that he went around to EVERYONE at the pool and showed them. Of course very frequently he sucked water back up his nose, so he would spend a few minutes hacking on the side of the pool. Didn't stop his effort one bit. He beamed with pride.
Some old people were swimming laps next to us in the pool. One of my hilarious girls said: "Mrs-look at that lady. She's doin her exercise. Watch me...I'm doin mine too. (As she did squats, etc. in the water). I couldn't stop laughing.
*One of the kids we adopted for Christmas was talking to me about her toys. I asked her if she liked playing with her doll. Her response: "I threw one of those babies away. She can talk. She can talk just like a person. It's weird-she shouldn't talk--it's a BABY. But I like the ones that don't talk. They're just normal pretend babies. I take care of THEM!" :)
*Older kids told me about how much they've been reading, the little ones (and big ones too) showed me a million tricks. We played shark, etc. It was so fun.
*And then I took one of my sweet girls to the bathroom. Now--you have to understand that every kid with us was black and that most of the other people at the fitness center were white. To the old lady who glared and my sweet student and looked at us both with disgust, I say this: You are blind to the beauty of this child. You need to OPEN YOUR EYES. I was taught to respect the elderly, but I have no respect for you. You are just lucky that my student did not hear your rude remark. It is time to OPEN YOUR EYES to the beauty in all people. I am completed disgusted by your actions.
*We had a great day. It was sad to see these 5-12 year old kids learning to do things I did at much younger ages...but it was so fun to see their joy when they learned. Afterwards, when we were eating lunch, a few of them said: "Mrs-you sure wore me out today. All that swimmin sure was tough".
After we came back to the apartments, they had some extra food so as they got it out, other kids started pouring out of their apartments to get something to eat. They ate every single bit. :(
I'm so thankful for the people that run this center. They give these kids food/a safe place to play and fun experiences. Most importantly, they give the kids love and a sense of worth. Because they ARE worth SO much. Someday soon I might be a foster parent...and I will give the child every opportunity that I possibly can. I don't know why some kids are born into families who are very priveledged, while others are left to fend for themselves. I can't speak to why our society feels that each family is on their own and is disgusted with these adults rather than TEACHING them how to parent/find a job/use their money/etc. But I CAN say that I am SO thankful for my job. I am so thankful for these kids. I love our mutual friendship. I love to hug them and teach them and play with them.
The Lord is powerful and is so good. I can't wait for the rest of this summer.
:)
*My husband is working at a child abuse & neglect clinic this summer. It has been so hard to watch him process & deal with the terrible things he is seeing. But I am also so proud of the man I married. Last week as I was writing in my prayer journal, I teared up thinking back to college when I spouted out what I was going to do with my life and how I was going to change the world. I wanted to teach in an innercity school and help families. Looking back, I had NO idea what my life would look like today. My life is SO full because the Lord has called us to give it away. I had an amazing year with my students, got very involved with families, my husband has volunteered at a free clinic, jumped on board with my students and now is giving his summer away to children who are abused & neglected in our city. I am so blessed to have him as my best friend.
*We started our Foster Care classes. We go back and forth between absolute terror and feeling like we GOT this. I made a bunch of stuff off of Pinterest and we have started to set up the potential child's bedroom. I borrowed a bunch of toys from my parents and will pull some books from my classroom. I used a gift card I received through working out a lot to buy curtains and a rug. It just might happen.
But we've also been reading books: "The Boy Called It" (made me almost throw up as I read the TERRIBLE abuse), "The Lost Boy", "Please Somebody Love Me" and now I'm reading "Building the Bonds of Attachment". The books have opened my eyes to the reality of how hard this might be. But I'm also encouraged that people are stepping up and speaking out for these children. It makes me wonder if I missed signs of abuse/neglect in my classroom....if I could have done more.
*In my husband's clinic and in the books, school is spoken of as a safe haven--where you get food, safety, love, education, friends, etc. They said the summer is a "down time" for the clinic because teachers are not reporting abuse--even though it is STILL happening. It makes me very thankful for the job I have, but also scared for kids this summer. What are they doing? Are they eating? Are they safe? Are they practicing ANYTHING we learned this year?. I can be an advocate for kids who have no voice. I feel so blessed that God trusts me with those kids.
*There are many reasons we want to do foster care, but the main reasons are the SWEET, neglected kids I met all year. I would come home from school with the most terrible stories and didn't know how to process. All I knew, is that if these kids had a mother figure who loved them-didn't hit them-fed them and interacted with them appropriately...they would THRIVE. I went through my year feeling like that, but then one day there were 4 situations with 4 different kids who affirmed for my husband AND I that we had to become foster parents. ALL of those 4 kids are in my group at the center I'm volunteering at. Lord's will???
*Now to the best part of my blog. :) I am volunteering this summer at a VERY poor apartment complex's summer program. It is only 2 mornings a week, but I was assigned all of the kids who just finished Kindergarten (MY kids!! and others that I love). Needless to say I was VERY anxious to check on my kids-to hug them/give them food!! As the kids started trickling in the room, I realized that EVERY kid was from my school. Every kid of every age came up and gave me a hug. They were so suprised to see me. I asked about their summers and hugged them each tight.
Then my kids started coming. One of the boys' jaw dropped and screamed, "MRS!!!!", another came running through the door and gave me a huge hug. She didn't leave my side for the rest of the morning. While the leader of the center was talking, all of my babies were huddled around me. They wanted to touch or be near. They kept looking over and smiling at me. One leaned in and whispered, "Mrs...I'm just SO glad you're here!!" I told her that I was so thankful to be there, too! We were all smiles as we read books, worked in the garden and learned about biking. We did some exercises and the leader challenged the kids to see who could do "plank" the longest. (VERY hard challenge). None of the kids were doing it right except one. This tiny little friend--he was in another class, but is a MESS and I always wished he was my student. This summer makes up for my lost time with him. Anyway, he was holding the plank position for almost a minute--I was cheering him on, and he whispered: This is SO hard. :)
*There was some down time, so I got out a book and read it to my sweet kids. Then I asked if they knew any songs they wanted to sing. We sang one they learned in music class and then one of my kids started singing: "I like it when you call me big poppy!"....UM!? Couldn't believe she knew that song...I told her I didn't think we should sing that. She said...Ok, Mrs!
*I spent the morning hugging my students' moms and catching up on everything. It was so good to see everyone!
*We went through lunch and I saw kids eating more than most adults could-they were SO hungry. As I looked around the room, their clothes were tattered, they were scarfing down food--but they had a GREAT morning with people who really care about them.
*We were outside later and other kids from the apartments were around. Then I saw a little girl SPRINTING across the grass-no shoes, a toothless (huge) smile and jumped into my arms. It was another one of my sweet students. Her mom followed her and said that when she heard I was outside, she leapt off the couch and the mom couldn't stop her before she was out the door and sprinting down the stairs. I told her mom that I was JUST as excited to see her!!!
It was a GREAT day. Before I left, they made me promise I'd be back tomorrow.
And then I went back this morning. Today we got to take the kids swimming. 9 years ago, I had my first summer job as a lifeguard. I worked at a very low income pool and taught swim lessons for free on my breaks. It was the first time I realized that I wanted to be a teacher. I saw these kids--who had no parents around, no money, but PURE joy to learn. I saw kids who were terrified of the water, a few weeks later swimming around the pool.
Today I got to relive that joy. NONE of the kids we took knew how to swim. I spent 3 hours teaching kids how to blow bubbles, kick on the side, to float, and eventually I would hold their bellies as they would kid and paddle around the pool. It was SO fun. Later, I was playing basketball with some older kids and I asked one of the little ones if he wanted to play. He looked at me VERY seriously as he walked around the pool and used his arms to paddle, "No, Mrs! I need to practice my swimmin!" Another little one was SO proud of himself for learning to blow bubbles that he went around to EVERYONE at the pool and showed them. Of course very frequently he sucked water back up his nose, so he would spend a few minutes hacking on the side of the pool. Didn't stop his effort one bit. He beamed with pride.
Some old people were swimming laps next to us in the pool. One of my hilarious girls said: "Mrs-look at that lady. She's doin her exercise. Watch me...I'm doin mine too. (As she did squats, etc. in the water). I couldn't stop laughing.
*One of the kids we adopted for Christmas was talking to me about her toys. I asked her if she liked playing with her doll. Her response: "I threw one of those babies away. She can talk. She can talk just like a person. It's weird-she shouldn't talk--it's a BABY. But I like the ones that don't talk. They're just normal pretend babies. I take care of THEM!" :)
*Older kids told me about how much they've been reading, the little ones (and big ones too) showed me a million tricks. We played shark, etc. It was so fun.
*And then I took one of my sweet girls to the bathroom. Now--you have to understand that every kid with us was black and that most of the other people at the fitness center were white. To the old lady who glared and my sweet student and looked at us both with disgust, I say this: You are blind to the beauty of this child. You need to OPEN YOUR EYES. I was taught to respect the elderly, but I have no respect for you. You are just lucky that my student did not hear your rude remark. It is time to OPEN YOUR EYES to the beauty in all people. I am completed disgusted by your actions.
*We had a great day. It was sad to see these 5-12 year old kids learning to do things I did at much younger ages...but it was so fun to see their joy when they learned. Afterwards, when we were eating lunch, a few of them said: "Mrs-you sure wore me out today. All that swimmin sure was tough".
After we came back to the apartments, they had some extra food so as they got it out, other kids started pouring out of their apartments to get something to eat. They ate every single bit. :(
I'm so thankful for the people that run this center. They give these kids food/a safe place to play and fun experiences. Most importantly, they give the kids love and a sense of worth. Because they ARE worth SO much. Someday soon I might be a foster parent...and I will give the child every opportunity that I possibly can. I don't know why some kids are born into families who are very priveledged, while others are left to fend for themselves. I can't speak to why our society feels that each family is on their own and is disgusted with these adults rather than TEACHING them how to parent/find a job/use their money/etc. But I CAN say that I am SO thankful for my job. I am so thankful for these kids. I love our mutual friendship. I love to hug them and teach them and play with them.
The Lord is powerful and is so good. I can't wait for the rest of this summer.
:)
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