Listen!!

**We're back to reality! As you know from my last blog post, we started the break really wrestling with hard stuff...the rest of the break continued to take that theme. Although it was WONDERFUL to be with family, sleep in, spend time as "real people": cooking, cleaning, playing, running, eating WAY too much....a lot of heartbreaking things people I love were dealing with also came to surface. I spent a lot of hours on my treadmill crying out to God. I kept asking my husband when life was going to be "normal and happy". His answer has stuck with me in a strong way--"I don't think it's about being happy or everything being ok--I think it's about finding joy in the midst of deep pain." My sister has had brain problems for many years--it has been a deep sadness in my family. She has 2 small children who have been a unreal source of joy. They have brought so much healing to all of us. Last week we found out my sister's brain is causing more life-threatening problems than ever and that surgery is a real possibility again. My head and heart immediately flashed back to 4 years ago, when she had to go through all of this. My little sister was recently diagnosed with the same issue. One of the hardest things about this is that I don't live in the same city as my family. In the past, it brought me some comfort to be at the hospital with my family, to help give showers, watch the kids, or even just go for walks with my mom to talk. Now, I feel so guilty being so far away. In some ways, I think the Lord is using this to allow me to trust Him to bring other people to help. My heart is broken, but I am not without hope. I found this scripture in 2 Corinthians during a "reflective" service at church last week. I love it!--"Our hearts ache, but we always have joy...For God can use sorrow in our lives to help us turn away from sin and seek salvation. We will never regret that kind of sorrow."

*Having such a demanding job will make it hard to help my family during this time, but it is also a blessing. I was eager to go back to school. I had missed my students and was ready to get back to "real life". The 2 days this week were SO fun. I smiled all day long working with my sweet students. I overheard one student during centers telling her friend "I really missed Mrs. when we were not at school. I love her". I feel the same, my sweet student! :)

*I have a VERY tiny student--about the size of an average 3 year old. But let me tell you--she is not without attitude. :) She is so funny. One of my students is a little bit of a mess-at centers, I walked past their group and asked :"Who got both of these games out and didn't put them away" All of the kids in the group answered with frustration, "Billy!!" Me-"Billy", I need you to pick both of those games up before you do anything else. He nodded. I walked back to my table to pull my reading group, but watched to make sure he picked it up. I saw him bothering my tiny girl who was playing a game. She started to wag her finger at him and said with more attitude than you can imagine: "Listen! You better go pick up those 2 games like Mrs. said before you even start to talk to me. OK?!" hahaha I looked at her and shook my head at her, and she just smiled. Hey--the boy listend. :)

*When we take bathroom breaks, my girls are always a little slower than the boys--we always have a little competition to see which line (boys/girls) is ready first after bathroom and drinks. I whispered to them--The boys win today! They were so fast and they are stading SO quietly. One of my little girls' response: "Mrs., Why do we need to make everything a competition?" HAHAHA Sorry kid-I'm too competitive, I've been told. :)

*I was anxious to see the girls whose families we adopted for Christmas. They both came in wearing their new clothes and shoes. They looked so cute. During writing time, we were writing about what we did over break. Both of those girls wrote that they played with baby dolls that they got for Christmas. :) So sweet. As I walked around writing time, I was shocked to see my students' writing. I had assumed that since many of my students didn't speak English all break and that others spent hours in front of the TV, that we would have to review a lot...but they were picking up RIGHT where we left off. Many students told me throughout the day that they really missed school. They were so glad to be back.

*We are starting to practice our last names. Most of them have picked it up very quickly and are writing first and last names on every worksheet/activity. I have to say--I pity my Hispanic kids who have 2 last names...One kid: "Mrs...this name is too big-I can't fit it on my paper". :)

*"Mrs...next year when we make Christmas presents for our moms, can we make them some cookies?" Me-That's a great idea, but next year you'll be in 1st grade, and I won't be your teacher. You are going to have a new teacher. Student-"WHAT?! NO!!!" The whole table of kids-"NO!!!!!" **Trust me kids--I'm going to be more sad about it than you are! :(

*During centers on our first day back, one of my students came up to me: "Mrs. I didn't work this hard all break. When I get home, I'm SERIOUSLY gonna need a nap." :)

*While we were waiting in the hallway for my students to get drinks at the water fountain before our afternoon recess, one of my students told me that his uncle was shot with a gun and that he had to lay down and rest a lot. My response: "That is so sad. I am so sorry." I went on to tell them that guns are very dangerous and I never want them to touch one. If they ever see one, I want them to tell an adult, etc. One student: "Mrs. I saw one under my couch but I didn't touch it. I won't Mrs. I never will." :(!!!!!!!!!

*I can't put into words how much fun we had being back at school. My class and I have such a sweet connection. We learned more letters, new sight words and they cracked me up all day long. Being with the kids heals me--a lot of these kids have harder lives than I could ever imagine...yet to me, they are bright beams of joy. It reminds me of this quote: "Be kind, for everyone is fighting a great battle".

*Math this week has been so fun! I am starting a geometry unit and it is very open to "exploring". I have been SHOCKED at the creativity of my students. We made shapes posters, sang our songs about the shapes, and then I gave them each a shape and a piece of paper. They had to look at the shape (circle/square/triangle/etc) and decide what it looked like and make a picture with it. For example, I used a circle and colored it like a basketball. Then I glued it onto my paper and drew people playing basketball and a hoop, grass, etc. You should have seen the pictures they made--I saw donuts, cookies, baseballs, heads of monsters, heads of people, hula hoops, a wheel, etc. They had so much fun with it. Everyday during math centers, they get to choose a new shape to add to their "shape book", they also go to explore with playdoh to make shapes, make pictures using pattern block shapes, and explore on the Geoboards with rubber bands. EVERY single kid was so eager to show me what they made. Some of my kids are really "out of the box" thinkers so they dominated these activities. My student who used to fall out of his chair all the time and threw up when he cried--made Catwoman with pattern blocks. It REALLY looked like Catwoman. Then he made a rabbit with different shapes he had made with playdoh. I was very impressed. It was SO fun.

*There is so much to look forward to this week besides teaching. I know the kids will be fun this week and I have some very fun lessons I think they are going to love. I get to go to kickboxing class (Found a Groupon for cheap and I am SO excited! My husband bought one too, and so did one of "couple" friends--what better way to destress and get out some anger about my sisters' issues than kick and punch a bag!), Bible study with our wonderful friends--we are so blessed with great friends through the med school, go help at our college campus ministry retreat, and I get to go see my family next weekend.

I was reading a book my husband bought me for Christmas: Radical by David Platt. He bought it for me because he knows I love to read extreme books. I'm not really sure how I feel about the book, but I like that it gets me to thinking--I agree with about 60% of what he writes, but this one part, I really like:
         I find it interesting that one of the most common questions asked today among Christians is "What is God's will for my life? or How do I find God's will for my life?" Many Christians have almost assumed the attitude that they would obey God if he would just show them what he wanted them to do. In the middle of a Christian culture asking: How do I find God's will for my life? I bring good news. His will is not lost. The answer is clear. The will of God is for you and me to give our lives urgently and recklessly to making the gospel and the glory of God known among all peoples. The question, therefore, is not Can we find God's will? The question is "Will we obey his will?" Will we refuse to sit back and wait for some tingly feeling to go down our spines before we rise up and do what we have already been commanded to do? Will we risk everything--our comfort, our possessions, our safety, our security, our very lives--to make the gospel known among unreached peoples? Such rising up and such risk taking are the unavoidable, urgent results of a life that is radically abandoned to Jesus.

*I love that!

:)